Two sewing machines the hard way....and family here-

**NCPatrick** · 05-23-2011, 06:27

Sorry to hear it MM. My heartfelt condolences... peace be with you.

**RePete** · 05-23-2011, 08:57

Sorry for you loss. Never easy to loose someone special to us.

**MedicineMan** · 05-25-2011, 10:54

It's over and some thoughts.
First a huge outpouring of support from members of this forum just showing what we already know-that for some strange reason people willing to hang in a tree are also the type to reach out to people in need, a place where even strangers offer support and
prayers. Thank you all-your words hit deep at a time when really needed.
Now some advice...
We the living can do a lot for those down the road who will have to deal with our passing. I had to knock on the door of a little lady up the street and ask for help finding a burial dress in my mom's closets....this is something you or I can do now, in fact every detail of the process can be specified now-the funeral home has a kit that takes just a little while to fill out-so think about making it easier for whoever will have to make these decisions sooner or later.
Price shock. We've all heard that it is expensive. It is. I never put anybody's feet to the fire and ask 'now exactly how much did you pay', so plan for this now-prepay for the funeral now if you can, lock into a price now too if possible. Recently read about a mass grave in Syria where hundreds of bodies were simply dumped so our system is a good one but yes it is costly.
Go through the process, step by step, even if you dont want to, dont skip any of the parts--they are there for a reason, for reasons that have developed over much time. An example-finding my mom as I did was ghastly-a horrible image, but in our system we have a viewing where the lost family member is presented in an image you want to remember-this is so important and I never thought why, now I know.
Lastly, a lot of people are going to offer help....maybe too many people. Let them help, its is good, for you and them.
Again thanks to this family.
R

**wirerat123** · 05-25-2011, 12:18

Wow man, heart wrenching. My deepest condolences on the loss of your Mom, I know that I will be devastated when my mom passes, but have to accept that most likely she will before I do. I have to stay strong and be prepared.

I will echo the same things as you as well, when my father passed away he didn't have his arrangements in order. While it wasn't too horrible, we got it handled. My step father passed a couple of years ago, and since everything was taken care of, it was smooth, same when my grandfather (who was my hero) passed away.

People don't think about death, but it is one of the few guarantees we have. Prepare now, and save your family from having to deal with it then. I've started working on getting mine straight. Got the plot for me and Jess, next is to get the rest settled.

You offer advice in a time of pain, it shows how you wish for others to learn from your life as you go, there is no better gift you can give us than life lessons to learn from so we don't have to learn them for ourselves, or our families have to learn them in our passing.

I pray for comfort in your heart and soul, celebrate the life that was, and the life that is. May God prepare a place and recieve her in all his glory and love. I know what you are going through as a somewhat similar thing happened with my Dad. I don't wish it on anyone, we just do the best we can and refocus ourselves to our current responsibilities once it's all over.

God Bless you man, the pain recedes and the wonderful memories will remain. She's never gone as long as you never forget.

**Jazilla** · 05-25-2011, 13:27

I am so sorry you had to lose your mom that way. My mother and father smoke heavily and my father drinks just as heavy. Mom is short and round god bless her. I know its a matter of time for it all catches up with them but I don't think anyone could ever prepare for it.

**TZBrown** · 05-26-2011, 08:26

Originally Posted by MedicineMan

It's over and some thoughts.
First a huge outpouring of support from members of this forum just showing what we already know-that for some strange reason people willing to hang in a tree are also the type to reach out to people in need, a place where even strangers offer support and
prayers. Thank you all-your words hit deep at a time when really needed.
Now some advice...
We the living can do a lot for those down the road who will have to deal with our passing. I had to knock on the door of a little lady up the street and ask for help finding a burial dress in my mom's closets....this is something you or I can do now, in fact every detail of the process can be specified now-the funeral home has a kit that takes just a little while to fill out-so think about making it easier for whoever will have to make these decisions sooner or later.
Price shock. We've all heard that it is expensive. It is. I never put anybody's feet to the fire and ask 'now exactly how much did you pay', so plan for this now-prepay for the funeral now if you can, lock into a price now too if possible. Recently read about a mass grave in Syria where hundreds of bodies were simply dumped so our system is a good one but yes it is costly.
Go through the process, step by step, even if you dont want to, dont skip any of the parts--they are there for a reason, for reasons that have developed over much time. An example-finding my mom as I did was ghastly-a horrible image, but in our system we have a viewing where the lost family member is presented in an image you want to remember-this is so important and I never thought why, now I know.
Lastly, a lot of people are going to offer help....maybe too many people. Let them help, its is good, for you and them.
Again thanks to this family.
R

Very good advice MM.

I saw to both of my parents final needs and know it can be overwhelming.

Prayers and condolences sent

**Fig** · 05-26-2011, 12:58

Wow.. My condolences. I am pretty much at a loss. Thanks for the advice though. It's something people just don't want to talk about.

**Cranky Bear** · 05-26-2011, 13:33

Just saw this thread for the first time, all I can say is "WOW", what a tough woman! My sincere condolences to you and the fam! If there is anything I can do (other than pray, which is already done) let me know!

**MacEntyre** · 05-26-2011, 16:07

Cranky Bear, you make a good point... MMan will come away from all this with good memories of a strong matriarch, which will help him in ways that he will never anticipate.

**L.D. Cakes** · 05-26-2011, 17:33

Originally Posted by MacEntyre

Cranky Bear, you make a good point... MMan will come away from all this with good memories of a strong matriarch, which will help him in ways that he will never anticipate.

I will second that Mac, I was fortunate enough to have two strong women who were my Mother & Grandmother. My Mother died young at 61 and my Grandmother wasted away through a long illness at 80. She did not look at all like herself the day she passed and it was a heart wrenching and hard ordeal, both dieing within a year of each other. But like what MM said about mortuaries presenting your loved one in a good image to remember is vital, and that made a real difference to me after that dreadful day.
They were both beautiful and youthful women with unmovable determination who supported my endeavors whole heartily and set an example for me to carry on in the same way.
God Bless you MedicineMan that you will come out of this a fine reflection of your heritage.