Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 42
  1. #1
    New Member TheStrowd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Wetumpka
    Posts
    6

    The Strowd + 95 lb Bullmastiff + Hammock = Disaster!

    It is interesting that this has to be my very first post on the hammock forum. But, I cannot imagine a more appropriate story to post as my first.

    This past weekend my wife, myself, 2 very good friends, their 7 seven year old boy, and my lovely bullmastiff, Chloe, made the track over to West Point Lake near LaGrange, Ga. My friends were car camping in a tent and my wife and i were sleeping in Grand Trunk Skeeter Beater Pro Hammocks, whose customer service, I might add, has been FANTASTIC.

    My dog, Chloe, is a very pampered dog. She is 95 pounds, brown, with a black muzzle. She is intimidating when you first see her, but she really doesn't know that she isn't a lap dog. She's just a big baby. She lives inside with us and isn't really used to being in the outdoors. Our plans for the weekend were to camp out Friday night, head over to Auburn on Saturday for the football game (WAR EAGLE!) and camp out again Saturday night. What should have been a relaxing and fun weekend suddenly made a turn for the worse late Friday night. As I said before, my dog is not used to staying outside. My wife tried to talk me into putting up a tent for her and just letting her sleep inside her kennel inside the tent. Well, after a couple cold ones and a very filling dinner, I was a bit too lazy to do this and decided that the dog would be fine sleeping in her kennel beside us under our Kelty Noah's Tarp. At the time it seemed like the best idea as I was also somewhat scared that someone might steam my dog. Well, all was well until about 1am. Then, as usual, the small animals decide to come out. The opossums, raccoons, armadillos, squirrels, etc started their nocturnal outings which resulted in a lot of rustling in the woods near us. This was not something that Chloe liked. So, about 1am, I am serenaded to the lovely deep bark of a bullmastiff..... WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! This must have gone on for about an hour when my friend Adam finally came out of his tent and said, "He Strowd, lets see if she will lay down and sleep in the tent." Well, that probably would have been all well and good in the winter, but in the summer, as it was hot this past weekend, they had their windows opened in the tent. So, you could still see outside and hear the noises. So, even with the dog in the tent, the barking continued - WOOF!! WOOF WOOF! It was a steady, deep, penetrating sound that alluded all from sleep. After another hour of this, I tell Adam to let me see the dog and see if I can calm her down. After walking her around, trying to get her to use the bathroom, I made what turned out to be a TERRIBLE decision. Its 2AM, I am not completely in my right mind, and decide that I would see if the 95 lb mongrel might fall asleep "with me in the hammock"! --- Not a good decision.

    After wrestling her into the poor skeeter beater pro, I climbed in with her. I am not a small guy. Most days, I approach 250 pounds. Couple that with the dog and we are a solid 350lbs of weight, yet, still in the legal limits of the hammock - just not by much. As I laid in the hammock with the dog, you could hear the trees screaming with pressure. The whoopee slings sounded like crying babies from the weight, but all seemed that it would hold..... that is ... until Chloe's claw poked a tiny hole in the bottom of the hammock. Have you ever blew a baloon up so tight that you were scared to get close to it? That is probably what the bottom of that hammock looked like. As soon as that claw snitched the hammock..... BOOM!!!!! We both fell out of the bottom of it ripping it from end to end!

    To put this in perspective, I am wearing nothing but a set of boxer brief underwear and a head lamp. My friend Adam saw the entire thing happen and he is laughing with everything inside of him. in his words, "Dude, it looked like your hammock gave birth to Chris Farley wearing nothing but a head lamp, underwear, while trying to rodeo ride a bullmastiff!" My wife was dying laughing, and I was just glad to still be alive.

    Needless to say, I need another hammock and will have to come up with something to shut the dog up!

  2. #2
    Senior Member thorwren's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Lancaster, OH
    Hammock
    Anything hanging in the living room
    Posts
    398
    I read this out loud to my shop assistants. It made our day, thank you!!

  3. #3
    New Member Trevlett's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Hastings, UK
    Hammock
    WBBB
    Tarp
    WB Superfly
    Insulation
    Unsponsored Down
    Suspension
    Dutch + Whoopies
    Posts
    26
    Great first post!
    Its always a good day when you learn something..

    A very warm welcome!

    Trev

  4. #4
    Senior Member Buffalo Skipper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Pensacola
    Hammock
    WB Traveler 1.7 single
    Tarp
    HG Cuben
    Insulation
    Incubator & Burrow
    Suspension
    Whoopies/MSH/strap
    Posts
    812
    Images
    97
    That is marvelous! Well not for your SB Pro, but great story.

    And welcome to the forum. Hope you stayed dry this weekend.
    “Indian builds small fire and stays warm, white man builds big fire and stays warm collecting firewood”—unknown

    “The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea”—Karen Blixen

  5. #5
    New Member TheStrowd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Wetumpka
    Posts
    6
    I am glad that I was able to entertain! Love the forum!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Hawk-eye's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Oak Ridge & Linville Gorge, North Carolina
    Hammock
    HHE, 2QZQ Mod4, Jerry 5 DIY
    Tarp
    HG Cuben/SFly Camo
    Insulation
    HammockGear Prod.
    Suspension
    Use them all!
    Posts
    9,989
    Images
    3
    "Dude, it looked like your hammock gave birth to Chris Farley wearing nothing but a head lamp, underwear, while trying to rodeo ride a bullmastiff!"

    That has got to be the funniest thing I've read this week! The mental image is funny enough ... can't imagine what it was like in person!

    WARNING: Will discuss Rhurbarb Strawberry Pie and Livermush at random.


    "A democracy is two wolves and a small lamb voting on what to have for dinner.
    Freedom under a constitutional republic is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." ... B.Franklin


    Home of the Gorge Rats: Linville Gorge
    My Videos YouTube Channel
    Photo collections Flickr Photostream


    Gorge Rat Productions On FaceBook

  7. #7
    New Member bluethundra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Atlanta, Ga
    Hammock
    WBBB 1.1 DBL
    Tarp
    Big Mamajamba
    Posts
    30
    Great first post....... welcome to the forum
    Last edited by bluethundra; 09-06-2011 at 18:56. Reason: ?

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Seattle
    Hammock
    DIY Gathered End
    Tarp
    12'x12'
    Insulation
    KAQ New River
    Suspension
    Strps cinch buckle
    Posts
    182


    Booties. Get Chloe booties if you two are going to use the hammock again.

  9. #9
    Senior Member aboyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Montgomery, Alabama
    Hammock
    Warbonnet Blackbird 1.7 dbl
    Tarp
    DIY
    Insulation
    DIY TQ and JRB UQ
    Suspension
    Straps w/Cinch bkl
    Posts
    1,494
    Images
    7
    I have camped several times with TheStrowd, and he is indeed an entertaining camping buddy!!! We enjoyed this story first hand around the lunch table today....and I am sure we will recount it many times in the future.
    "I will study and get ready, and perhaps my chance will come." - Abraham Lincoln

  10. #10
    Nighthauk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Chesterfield, Ma
    Hammock
    WBBB RR DBL 1.1 / DIY Multicam SL
    Tarp
    Superfly/HG CF
    Insulation
    Downy Goodness
    Suspension
    Whoopie/Dutch Clip
    Posts
    4,077

    Thanks for the laugh.

    And welcome to HF from Mass.

  • + New Posts
  • Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast

    Similar Threads

    1. Tablecloth Hammock disaster repurposed for the holidays
      By Ratdog in forum General Hammock Talk
      Replies: 2
      Last Post: 12-20-2013, 01:42
    2. Is this a disaster waiting?
      By linksgard2 in forum Do-It-Yourself (DIY)
      Replies: 10
      Last Post: 08-07-2012, 20:52

    Tags for this Thread

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •