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  1. #1
    SilvrSurfr's Avatar
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    A Twelve Step Program for Hammock Campers

    After looking at the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I came up with a twelve step program for hammock hangers. The main difference from the AA 12 steps is that hammock campers really enjoy their addiction. If you have any suggestions on how to improve these 12 steps, let me know:

    1. We admit we are powerless over our desire to hang in trees.
    2. We believe there is a Power greater than ourselves that could help us design the perfect hammock setup and camping gear.
    3. We have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Hammock Forums members as we understand them.
    4. We will make a searching and fearless inventory of our camping kit, searching for ways to shave grams and eliminate knots.
    5. We admit to Hammock Forums, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact weight of all our equipment.
    6. We are entirely ready to have Hammock Forums remove all defects from our gear.
    7. We humbly ask Hammock Forums to remove all knots and unnecessarily heavy items from our hammock and camping gear.
    8. We will make a list of all persons whose posts we have not read, and vendors whose gear we have not purchased, and are willing to make amends to them all.
    9. We will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause us to go blind, or become bankrupt and homeless.
    10. We will continue to take inventory of gear and when we are wrong, promptly purchase or make new gear.
    11. Seek through reading Hammock Forums posts, watching YouTube videos, and attending group hangs to improve our conscious contact with Hammock Forums members as we understand them, praying only for knowledge of their gear and the power to borrow their ideas.
    12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we carry this message to hammock campers, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

  2. #2
    Senior Member kayak karl's Avatar
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    at least if you don't follow these you won't DIE.
    "Tenting is equivalent to a bum crawling into a cardboard box, hammocking is an art" KK

  3. #3
    Senior Member jbphilly's Avatar
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    I was expecting a 12 step program for getting ground dwellers to adopt hammocks.

  4. #4
    Senior Member olddog's Avatar
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    Lakeland, Fl
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    Do we raise our right hand and place our left on the Ed Speer Hammock Camping book before repeating the 12 rules?
    Most of us end up poorer here but richer for being here. Olddog, Fulltime hammocker, 365 nights a year.

  5. #5
    Senior Member timabababaluka's Avatar
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    Sep 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by jbphilly View Post
    I was expecting a 12 step program for getting ground dwellers to adopt hammocks.
    I can't imagine that taking more than two steps...

    Step 1. Sleep on the ground
    Step 2. Wake up the next morning and try to move

    Hammock, here I come
    You're gonna need a bigger hammock

  6. #6
    gunner76's Avatar
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    Dec 2009
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    Murphy NC
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    Its only an addiction if you are trying to stop. Are you trying to stop hanging ?
    I am still 18 but with 52 years of experience !

  7. #7
    Senior Member MAD777's Avatar
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    May 2009
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    White Mountains, New Hampshire
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    Quote Originally Posted by olddog View Post
    Do we raise our right hand and place our left on the Ed Speer Hammock Camping book before repeating the 12 rules?
    Mike
    "Life is a Project!"

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    Re: rule 8 - for most of us that'll be a blank sheet of paper!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member default's Avatar
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    May 2011
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    Summerville, SC
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    1: buy tent
    2: pack heavy/bulky tent into camp
    3: get mad putting up tent
    4: get mad realizing that the " X person" rating is actually for anorexic midgets
    5: get crappy sleep in tent
    6: get wet while getting crappy sleep in tent
    7: get mad putting tent back into tiny bag it came in
    8: repack tent after forgetting rainfly/poles/gearloft
    9: pack heavy/bulky tent out of camp (wishing you could leave it, but must follow LNT)
    10: discover hammocks/hammock forums
    11: buy/DIY hammock and related fun gear
    12: camp happily ever after whilst scoffing at the ground dwellers
    Give a man fire and he's warm for the night.
    Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Dante

  10. #10
    Senior Member default's Avatar
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    and i will say ive never made an "ow" sound getting out of the hammock as compared to a tent. unless i fell out of the hammock...

    waking up in the morning in a tent used to be a lesson in inventive ways to use 4 letter words and derivatives there of, but when i get out of the hammock its more of the "aww ma, do i hafta?" kind. i also dont feel like i had been punched all night (i really think that local wildlife see tenters and just poke and slap yall all night. hammocks confuse them.)
    Give a man fire and he's warm for the night.
    Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Dante

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