Thanks for sharing. You bring a uniquely humorous and intelligent perspective to our hobby.
I would like to pose the question:
For a gathered end hammock, what is the flattest lay to lightest weight to length to width to ridgeline length ratio? I use roughly a 9'x4.5' gathered end hammock with a 90" ridgeline. Can the computer postulate the best way to manipulate these variables to maximize "flatness of lay," which is likely subjective, for the lest amount of weight/ smallest rig still marketable to the average individual? I'm not sure if you've played with that idea or not, but I'd like to see the model if you get the time.