My family and I just got back from Cancun, Mexico. Since my wife, heretofore known as SWSNBN (she who shall not be named), has a passion for hating things that make me happy, bringing a hammock on a family vacation is a no-no. However, after much internal debate, I decided to risk it. Looking at my collection, I made my decision; GT Ultralight. Mine is dark blue which would help to hide it in the dark recesses of my black luggage and with tree huggers and whoopies everything fit neatly into its own attached pouch. Stealth is key.
On day one, I carefully transferred the GT to the bottom of my daypack. Knowing I would likely not be separated from my pack all week, this was not only the safest spot for it but would keep it ready for use if/when that tiny window of opportunity presented itself.
On day three we were well into our pool routine and SWSNBN was uncharacteristically oblivious to my plans. SWSNBN was reading a book, her two nasty little minions (our daughters) were swimming while my six year old son, my only comrade and fellow, yet unknowing, prisoner played gleefully and quite ignorantly in the shallows of the pool. Estimating the situation carefully, I decided to make my move. With as much bravery as I could muster I spoke to SWSNBN with a somewhat quavering voice and suggested my intentions. I was going to get some more water bottles for the family and check out the kids’ activities for the evening. Without so much as looking up at me she waved her hand as though shooing away a fly.
Ever careful I did not allow my expression to detail feelings of elation and my new found, albeit temporary, freedom. As I walked away from the pool area a chill went up my spine as my daughters sneered at me with suspicion. SWSNBN had trained them well. Nevertheless, I continued on toward my goal.
It was not long before my feet hit a soft sandy area littered with palm trees. There was an aquatic equipment shack on the near side that would further block the view of my intended activity.
Finding two suitable trees I deployed my hammock with startling speed and accuracy (a skill enhanced by my HF membership of course). Then without hesitation I slid into the soft fabric of my GT, positioned myself properly and let out a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. I had done it! Even if it had ended at that point, no matter, it was worth it.
The palm fronds waived in the constant but gentle trade winds and the bright blue sky was interrupted only by a few light puffy white clouds. After burning the image into my mind, I pulled my hat down over my eyes and relaxed. The sound of the waves and unintelligible murmur of the people near the pool made for a comforting audio backdrop which soon lulled me into that wonderful place between awake and asleep.
My relaxation deepened as the minutes ticked by and although a part of my brain screamed for me to get up before my crime was discovered, the enjoyment of swaying back and forth in my hammock was simply too awesome to make a move.
I am guessing it was at the half hour mark when SWSNBN dispatched her demons. My daughters would do her bidding with zeal and relish in their accomplishment. Having both inherent and learned skills it did not take them long to discover my deed. My girls pounced on me, ripping me from my slumber without mercy. Giggling and laughing as they destroyed my own little paradise. Even saying such horrible things as, “Come on daddy, wake up we have to get lunch.” How could these awful creatures be my own children?
So my adventure ended. The minions of SWSNBN gave her a full report. With eyes rolling in dirty looks of disapproval and comments against hammocking so heretical I cannot put them to print SWSNBN shamed me for my disobedience and then lead us away from the pool. I followed my family, hand in hand with my son, up the stairs to the lunch buffet.
Demons in my GTUL
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Originally Posted by Chriss
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