Hammock Horror Stories [Archive] - Hammock Forums - Hammocks and hammock camping

headchange4u

10-16-2006, 10:05

I was looking through the Yahoo photos and I saw one where Just Jeff's favorite, most comfortable hammock tore and dropped him on his posterior region. I think he said he now has a crack in his butt.;) :D

I was just thinking on how much it would suck to have some sort of catastrophic hammock system failure on a hike which may lead to the horrors of all horrors, sleeping on the ground.

Tell us you hammock horror stories.

Here's the photo. (http://ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/hammockcamping/photos/view/4063?b=1)

FanaticFringer

10-16-2006, 15:10

Read somewhere on White Blaze about a bear rubbing up against the bottom of a hammock while the guy was sleeping. I question the truth of that. Now that would be scary.

Seeker

10-16-2006, 15:38

didn't get hurt either time, other than my pride, but i've lost two hammock tarps in the rain to my sheer stupidity... both times, i'd set them up over my HH, with poles holding the corners higher... both times, it started raining while i was at work. both times, i came home, looked out, and saw torn silnylon... the 8 x 10 was fixable... the jury's still out on the 'stock tarp' that was my last casualty... hopefully, i will remember to 'tip the roof' next time... hopefully... :o

by the way, for the "down gets wet" mafia... when the stock tarp let go, it dumped it all in my hammock. my down sleeping bag and down JRB underquilt were left exposed and soaking for about 2 hours... i could comfortably have used both items that night... the bag was only slightly damp in one spot. the underquilt had one compartment (right in the very center) damp... it would probably have created a cold spot under my right butt cheek, but i'd have slept with my small blue foam 'sit pad' under that cheek, and been fine...

god bless Western Mountaineering and "The Jacks", both makers of fine outdoor equipment...

headchange4u

10-16-2006, 16:03

Read somewhere on White Blaze about a bear rubbing up against the bottom of a hammock while the guy was sleeping. I question the truth of that. Now that would be scary.

How high did he have his hammock off the ground? Did he need step ladder to get in his hammock or was it just a really small bear?

If any kind of animal rubbed against the bottom of my hammock while I was sleeping first thing that is going to happen is me crapping myself. If the stench doesn't drive it away my high pitched six-year-old-girl-with-a-skinned-knee screams will. :eek: :p

T-BACK

10-17-2006, 06:58

I have had one hammock fail (ripped right across the butt area) and dump me on the ground. I was trying to support my 250# butt with two layers of 1.1 oz RS nylon. That was a NO GO but it was at least a controlled fall. The only other failure involved a strap tearing apart right where I made an overstitched (as in too many stitches in too small of an area) bartack. This time I had the hammock about three feet in the air. After lying in it for a few minutes I heard the sound of velco pulling apart very slowly. Then I realized that there was no velcro on this hammock. About that time the strap let go and I hit the ground like a bag of wet cement. I haven't hit the ground that hard since the last time I jumped with a -1B parachute. It knocked the wind out of me. I was lucky, the dog was the only witness and she's not talking... Now I do all my testing at low altitude!

Brian
T-BACK

Seeker

10-17-2006, 12:04

I haven't hit the ground that hard since the last time I jumped with a -1B parachute.Brian T-BACK

i don't care who you are, that's funny... (especially we who've used the infamous 'dash 1'...):D

RadioFreq

10-17-2006, 12:39

If you consider one's brain as a part of your overall hammock equipment then my failure qualifies:

I was out for the weekend with the Scouts. We were camping in a pine forest. Most had not seen my HH setup so I decided to demonstrate. I found two trees the right distance apart, set it up and climbed in. Almost immediately I sagged down so my butt was on the ground. I scrambled out to find I had one end tied to a deadfall which had started to come out of the ground at the roots. Fortunately for me it stopped tipping when I hit the ground. I quickly moved my HH away and pushed the tree down all the way. I was shaken....the boys thought it was hilarious.

Just Jeff

10-17-2006, 13:50

I was lucky, the dog was the only witness and she's not talking...

Do you guys have those Bush Beans commercials where the dog is selling the secret family recipe?

Bet she even took pics...

Miguel

10-17-2006, 14:00

i don't care who you are, that's funny... (especially we who've used the infamous 'dash 1'...):D

OK...what's a -1 parachute. I have over 300 jumps and never heard of it. I should add that all my jumping experience has been sport jumping although I have many jumps on military chutes, mostly 28 footers and T-10s. Please enlighten me! Also, all jumps were in the 70s.

Miguel

slowhike

10-17-2006, 19:08

i actualy left my support straps at home one trip. didn`t realize it untill we were setting up camp.
so... i used the two 3/4" straps that had held my pad to the pack.
yep... one snaped... droping me on the tree roots. what`s worse, my friends (?) didn`t want me to get up untill they took several pictures <G>
and i had a 1" wal-mart webbing let me down at home. that wasn`t as funny. i think i chiped a bone in my ebow (hardwood floor). that elbow was sore for months.
speaking of having to sleep on ground, last dec (05) i was w/ ed speer on mt mitchel, nc when his red hammock (the one on the cover of his book) finaly failed him. i belive he estimates over 5000 hours in that hammock.
i`m told that he & karen later gave it a proper burial in an undisclosed location.
ed made it fine for one night on the snow. ...tim

Seeker

10-18-2006, 05:22

OK...what's a -1 parachute. I have over 300 jumps and never heard of it. I should add that all my jumping experience has been sport jumping although I have many jumps on military chutes, mostly 28 footers and T-10s. Please enlighten me! Also, all jumps were in the 70s. Miguel

iirc, and it's been since 1986, it's exactly like the T-10b, but without any of the luxuries (another joke...)

again, reaching way back, i think the T-10b was a 26 or 28 footer, with two slits in the back the you opened and closed with toggles. as the air escaped out the back it gave it forward momentum. thus, by closing one side or the other, this turned the chute, that made it "steerable' by army standards.

the "dash 1" was about the smallest possible chute you could use without killing the jumper. you fell like a block of wood (as opposed to falling like a rock) due to the small chute diameter. it too had slits in the back (necessary to give forward momentum, or it would start swinging back and forth, "oscillation", i think it was called) and slam you into the ground if you started too high. you "steered" it by climbing hand over hand up one set of risers or the other, effectively 'tipping' it. that was why you had to be able to do X number of pull-ups before attending jump school. the air thus leaking out from under the other side drove the chute in direction you were climbing. so, climb the front left riser, and you'd drift forward and left. but the chute would also rotate while you did that, so a subsequent correction was always needed. you never landed with that perfect 'slowly drifting to the right so i can land on my right side' thing... it was always forward and left, for me anyway, my worst possible option... foot/ face/ foot/ ouch/ ****/ god i hate this why did i volunteer/ oof/ whew/ wow/ that was cool/i can't wait to do it again.

a kid with a beach umbrella jumping out of a barn loft landed more softly...

but it was fun.

WarmSoda

03-21-2010, 23:25

Sounds like good times had by all.:):):)

SGT Rock

03-21-2010, 23:31

Experimenting with a new tree hugger in Iraq in '03 and the strap sawed through the loop, landing me on my ***.

Same year in Iraq, we got mortared. Stuck my hand through the bug net trying to get out in a hurry.

Traveller

03-22-2010, 02:10

Read somewhere on White Blaze about a bear rubbing up against the bottom of a hammock while the guy was sleeping. I question the truth of that. Now that would be scary.
__________________
"Every day above ground is a good day"

Not sure about the White Blaze event.
I had a young blackbear go under my hammock first night on the West Coast Trail / British Columbia. 2003 Darling River campsite I was awoken to what felt like someone giving me a light kick on my underside. With no moon and about 2am I could not even see my own hand.
I called out thinking it was one of my hiking partners. With no reply I could feel that something was underneath my hammock.
I had been suspended on a slight ledge leading down to the beach. It was a nice perch for my Hennesy (displayed on my avatar, from the mentioned trip).
Staying calm, I took the masculine approach and screamed out like a little girl.
Whatever had been underneath now bolted and sent me for a swing, dislogding one of my side stabilyzer's. Screaming intensified.
The critter took off into the night not to return.
The next morning the we observed the small 4" bear tracks had made a bee line from the bush down to where the group had cooked dinner. Plus, we also discovered a dump pit of garbage left by boaters in the area; likely attracting more bears than usual to the area.
I slept with my headlamp afixed for the next five nights.

Hangin' Burrito

03-22-2010, 05:44

Ya'll are gonna laugh. I was modifying my ENO last year, adding a bug net to it with zippers on both sides, (like the Switchback). I finished it and hung it up down in my shop for a test run.
Well, I unzipped one side and went to sit down in it and got too far over to the other side and the hammock flipped!!!:scared::scared::laugh:I found my self dangleing 6" off the concrete floor and no one around to help pull me out! My feet were up at my shoulders and and there was nothing for me to grab ahold of other than the no-see-um.
So I did what had to be done. I grabbed as much as I could and pulled on it and amazingly it held!:eek: I'm about 215#s and I thought sure I would have to fix it or replace it, but nope, good quality stuff!:lol::lol::rolleyes:

eflat7

03-22-2010, 18:18

I once hung my Eno only about 8 inches from the ground at the lowest point using brand new slap strap. When I woke up I was almost completely laying on the ground. Those things stretch, especially when they are new and you are heavy as h3ll. Ha!

turnerminator

03-22-2010, 20:12

When I was 14, I read the SAS Survival handbook.
It had a section on making knotted hammocks, so made one out of string.

I went on a 'Survival week' with two mates and took my new hammock.
The woods near my house that we were in were filled with stinging nettles.
I hung my hammock between 2 trees and then drank far, far too much 'Survival Alcohol' round the camp fire, puked up loads and passed out. (don't try this at home, kids) :)

I woke up and needed to get to my hammock. We didnt have a working torch between us and the fire had gone out, so I realised the only way to find my hammock was to walk round the woods blind, until I walked into it. I found it after a while. I got in and fell straight out again into the nettles. After a few goes at getting in, and falling out again, I gave up and fell asleep in the 'bed of nettles'. I remember thinking how comfy those stinging nettles were to sleep on- all soft and warm.
I woke up a few hours later, freezing. I had sobered up a bit , realised where I was lying, and that my face and hands were on fire. :eek:

It took 3 days for the burning to go.

I will never hang over stinging nettles again.

OldMan

03-22-2010, 21:08

Not sure about the White Blaze event.
I had a young blackbear go under my hammock first night on the West Coast Trail / British Columbia. 2003 Darling River campsite I was awoken to what felt like someone giving me a light kick on my underside. With no moon and about 2am I could not even see my own hand.
I called out thinking it was one of my hiking partners. With no reply I could feel that something was underneath my hammock.
I had been suspended on a slight ledge leading down to the beach. It was a nice perch for my Hennesy (displayed on my avatar, from the mentioned trip).
Staying calm, I took the masculine approach and screamed out like a little girl.
Whatever had been underneath now bolted and sent me for a swing, dislogding one of my side stabilyzer's. Screaming intensified.
The critter took off into the night not to return.
The next morning the we observed the small 4" bear tracks had made a bee line from the bush down to where the group had cooked dinner. Plus, we also discovered a dump pit of garbage left by boaters in the area; likely attracting more bears than usual to the area.
I slept with my headlamp afixed for the next five nights.

Gotta be one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Can't imagine that I would have responded any different. :lol::lol::lol::lol:

babelfish5

03-22-2010, 21:09

If any kind of animal rubbed against the bottom of my hammock while I was sleeping first thing that is going to happen is me crapping myself. If the stench doesn't drive it away my high pitched six-year-old-girl-with-a-skinned-knee screams will. :eek: :p

Ditto... then there would be the extended period where i cried like a baby and whimpered.

riverkeeper

03-23-2010, 00:10

So far I've been able to keep it up all night and some days.

Trugracie

03-23-2010, 00:53

So far the scariest thing that's happened to me was on my first time hanging.
It was about 2am or so when I felt something brush underneath my hammock. I immediately grabbed my gun, and laid as still as I possibly could. I was just about to look around and see what it was, and if it was gone or not. Well it brushed against me again. At this point I was very nervous, especially since my boy was right beside me, and the last thing I wanted was for him to get bitten, or attacked by a dangerous animal.
Finally I thought, oh well minus well get it over with.
When I looked down, I saw the kid of one of my ground dwelling friends, who had rolled off his pad, and down the hill to where we were hanging.
I have to admit, all kinds of thoughts started going through my head, especially since it was my first time in a hammock. Luckily the comfort of it put me to sleep till I had to be wakened the next morning.

Albert Skye

03-23-2010, 01:37

The big island of Hawaii is overrun with feral pigs (a cross between the Polynesian boar and European stock). They're BIG, and known to be deadly, but I was told they'll leave you alone if you leave them alone.

I was rather vulnerable some nights listening to them snuffle about as I lay there, kidneys just the right height for goring; especially, alone in a remote valley where no one would hear me scream.

Falling rocks can make for restless sleep too; especially, when hanging in a steep, narrow valley beside a landslide. The land there is alive.

Later, I was told the pigs were the least of my worries because the Night Marchers and Pig Goddess (half human, half pig) were known to haunt that valley. Apparently, I was spared because the moon was full that night...

KerMegan

03-23-2010, 09:57

now that is just creepifiying...

NCPatrick

03-23-2010, 10:23

BillyBob58

03-23-2010, 22:32

Waking up about 0200, with severe altitude sickness and hypoxic stupidity, and shivering violently. About 10 miles into the Wind River's in WY. On my first ever night in a hammock. After apparently some how twisting my new HH and Super Shelter, while doing gymnastics trying to get inside my mummy bag. So that I was now not in my bag good, but was in/on the netting, with the opening and SS pad now above me, and I couldn't get out. At least not until another death struggle. Thought I was going to have to call for help, which was going to be quite embarrassing, just to add some insult to injury.

At least it was not raining or snowing or blowing, yet. Only a clear starry 22*F Sept night.

Just Jeff

03-23-2010, 23:58

I've had raccoons chase each other underneath my hammock and then start wrestling beside me. I shined my light on them and they froze...four little glowing dots in the night. Then they slinked away and I watched them climb straight up and straight down a fence...as in, climbing down a vertical fence with their face pointing towards the ground. It was pretty cool.

Another one...this from my Foothills Trail hike:

Around 1a last night I got up for a pee, and when I was getting back into the hammock I fell flat on my back! I thought I was holding a layer of the underquilt and a layer of hammock, but it was actually both layers of the hammock, so I slid back and nothing was there to catch me, depositing me solidly on my [butt]. Skillfully, I rolled onto my back silent as a ninja and made sure Wendy didn’t wake up. If she did, I was going to blame it on the wood nymphs. Little *******s.

And then the handful of times I've tested new suspensions and ended up ground dwelling for a few minutes. Always fun.

MacEntyre

03-24-2010, 06:29

My first night in a hammock in the woods... I was using an Army surplus hammock, rectangular canvas with ropes through grommets on each end. I had the bright idea of using my hiking poles to keep each end from gathering. During the night, the seam under my head started to rip. I had to lay real still the rest of the night to keep it from continuing. On top of that, I knew nothing about insulating the hammock, so the fleece bag liner I brought for the balmy night in the 50s was woefully inadequate. The warmest position was to lie on my back with my legs crossed. I survived the night, and welcomed the sun! Went home and stitched up the seam... it came within a couple of inches of total failure, which would have landed me on the ground! A few days later, I found HF.

- MacEntyre

ice man

03-25-2010, 15:10

You ever hear bulls "Roar" ? Camped near the top of Crazy Woman Canyon in the Big Horns. Oh-dark somethin' and this hellish bellowing going on and on and on without stopping. Even knowing what it is the hair on my arms and neck was on end. I hung the .44 outside the hammock and let go a round and yelled Shut the ... up! at the top of my lungs. I t only stopped the noise for a coupla minutes. I didn't want to bring anyone down on me for shooting any more, so just put up with it and tried to get back to sleep. Next day, Other campers said its a nightly occurance, you'll get used to it. I de-camped and went elsewhere for some quiet.

Knighthorse

03-28-2010, 01:16

Not a wild animal story, just my fall. (re-posted from the first fall thread)
I've only had one "fall" so far. Way back when I bought a "backpackers double" hammock From Wallyworld. You know, stylish white nylon string netting stuff?? Even has that hollow core looking waterski rope on the ends. Oh yeah, very snazzy. Put it up between two perfect trees in my backyard, banjo-picking tight. Probably about 3'4" or so above ground. (yup, ignorant I now know too high also. ) Straddled it in my own "floss your butt" fashion followed by spreading the hammock out sideways, and "safely", gently, sitting down. Ok. Good so far. Seems alright. Lied back, and at the exact second I put my legs in, the hammock became my own "jacobs' ladder" carnival win a teddy bear challenge. I had my hands over my head for a couple seconds, teetering slightly to one side, then the other. Almost frozen for a couple more seconds, trying to figure out how to fix this mess, when fate decided for me. I took too long thinking I suppose. Hammock swung slightly to the right side as my body was rolling left, landed hands and knees and face down in the grass. Think the spatula gently lifting the pancake, then BAM flipping it over.
No injury except for pride, and dirt/grass stains. Seriously knocked the wind out of me though.

GnomePatrol

03-29-2010, 10:14

Test run on my hammock. Before ever hearing about this forum I decided to get an eno and slapstraps... about 15 minutes after buying it I went to the nearest park to try it out, found a flat spot and carefully adjusted as much as i could to make it even. I sit down, all is well, then a devilish screeching/popping combo is issued from the straps as the loop self destructs and i land firmly on my bum... before anyone noticed i balled that thing up and got in the car. appearently im made of dark matter because my 180 thwarted eno's alleged 400 capacity. then i did my research and found this site and resolved the suspension problem. never again will i test in a public park much less on the first nice day of spring.