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Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
I just came out of my secret underground laboratory with my latest creation in multi-purpose gear. It is the Poncho/Quilt/Ayce Foodbag. Jeff mention one time about edible gear. It kept me up at night for days trying to get my head around it. If you could plan you hike well you could just eat you pack weight down as you hike. Last day out you can eat your tarp, your extra socks or what ever. You could be eating your beef jerky shoulder straps just as you reach the car. Just think you would be able to get new gear every time you hike.
So I got to thinking about the insulating properties of food. Food is something everyone has to carry so why not make it work for you instead of just being dead weight. So I started by trying to quilt together a couple pairs of my edible underwear. I would link to it but the sites aren't appropriate. Trying to get differential baffles out of tiny panties was impossible. So I found an edible film manufacturer (http://www.packworld.com/material-20939) That took care of the shell, but what to use for the stuffing. At first I thought if goose down is good insulation then the entire goose would be great insulation. But the goose juices kept making the shell dissolve. Undaunted I got to thinking about what I already carry in my food bag. So there is instant mash potatoes in one baffle and powdered gravy in another. One has stove top stuffing and another has oatmeal. There is edible Velcro on one end so you can access each baffle. Instant mash potatoes actually insulate quite well. It will get you down to 32 degrees or you fourth dinner, whichever come first. It only weighs 16 pounds 2 ounces and feeds 14 for 6 days. It weighs pretty much but I made it purple because my wife will carry anything purple.
http://www.hammockforums.net/gallery/files/4/0/9/puple_quilt_thumb.jpg (http://www.hammockforums.net/gallery/showimage.php?i=4898&c=12)
I am thinking about quitting my job and manufacturing these.
Ramblinrev
02-01-2009, 07:24
I think it must be something in the water....
Just think you would be able to get new gear every time you hike.
My wife accuses me of doing that everytime I plan a hike.:)
I hope winter is over soon in PA. I think you are getting bad cabin fever. :lol: Told you...should have come to Mt. Rogers! We had more than enough to eat there!
ROFL! :lol: Definitely cabin fever setting in at Dutch's place. :rolleyes: I started reading and hit the part about using the entire Goose for insulation and the juices making the shell disolve, and I about spit my coffee on the monitor! The edible underwear, that I could see Dutch re-purposing, and wasn't that surprising.;) Isn't that what you have for breakfast when you hike now, Dutch? Nice and warm, straight from the hammock?:lol:
angrysparrow
02-01-2009, 09:46
...So I got to thinking about the insulating properties of food....
I get it, Dutch! You're starting to think like a bear. :D
Mmmmmm....camper stuffed burrito supreme....(sound of bear/Homer Simpson drooling).:laugh:
Oh, and BTW, be careful with your edible film hiking.:rolleyes: It says it dissolves in cold water, and I think that would include those nice morning mists you get on the trail. You could wake up in a puddle of mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and oatmeal.:scared: Or what if you pulled a Jeff and smashed your apple cider in your bag? You would get to camp with a bag of mush!:laugh: Or if you pee in your gatorade bottle in your hammock, and it springs a leak (another reason to just get up!) Don't quit your day job just yet, Dutch.
angrysparrow
02-01-2009, 10:18
Or what if you pulled a Jeff and smashed your apple cider in your bag? You would get to camp with a bag of mush!
The retelling of that story was amusing.
"Hey Jeff, your pack is leaking"
"Oh. What does it taste like?"
LOL
Narwhalin
02-01-2009, 10:20
Good god! :scared: :lol:
The retelling of that story was amusing.
"Hey Jeff, your pack is leaking"
"Oh. What does it taste like?"
LOL
Yeah, I'm not tasting anyone's dripping pack! The thought of what the liquid could be filtering through.......:scared: Dutch's edible undies?:scared::lol::scared:
Dutch,
This post takes care of the blackmail video. I won't post it now.
I will however hold on to the video until I get my underquilt. I'll take steak and potatoes.
Edit: I don't know what is scarrier, this post or the fact that he has a Mr T doll.
Edible velcro is just fruit rollup that you have to peel apart and lick every time. Not too bad if the powdered gravy don't stick to it.
You should link up with these guys. http://www.ediblegear.com/
thorwren
02-01-2009, 22:33
I imagine a host of furry, hungry onlookers following you very closely.....
I imagine a host of furry, hungry onlookers following you very closely.....
That describes half of the people at the group cookout at Mt. Rogers last Saturday!:rolleyes:
stormcrow
02-01-2009, 22:41
and wow! Dutch that was amazing.
You are most definitely thinking outside the box. Get out and hike man! It sounds like you REALLY need to.
Hilarious!
Adam
Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
I think the father's name was "Tequila.":lol:
GrizzlyAdams
02-02-2009, 00:14
So Grizz and Dutch are on this thru-hike, and as they approach a mail-drop Dutch is positively giddy with excitement.
"Yes" he shouts, when the postmaster hands over a rather large container. "Grizz", he says, "We'll be eating fine, soon".
Part of what he got is replacement clothing, so he sneaks into the bushes behind the Post Office and changes.
On the way out of town he keeps telling Grizz, "Man this is going to be good!" In time Grizz asks why this package was so special, and Dutch relates that he can finally try out this new system he invented, of edible hiking wear and pack gear. Grizz is some taken aback, but Dutch is a clever fellow, so he bides his time.
Come dinner time Dutch starts to peel off his new gear and Grizz asks "Ah, Dutch, what were you thinking we'd have tonight for dinner?".
"Something special!" says Dutch, "Shorts-bread!"
Grizz, recalling survival training from years ago, decides to forage for roots and berries.
<grin>
gunn parker
02-02-2009, 01:56
So I started by trying to quilt together a couple pairs of my edible underwear.
Trying to get differential baffles out of tiny panties was impossible.
These two sentences are a worry :)
Rushthezeppelin
02-02-2009, 22:01
You should link up with these guys. http://www.ediblegear.com/
Something tells me that stuff would be HORRIBLE to use in bear country : P
Seriously though I can't believe that is real ><
Ramblinrev
02-03-2009, 01:27
heh... try ordering something.
headchange4u
02-03-2009, 11:40
" Hey, taste my pants." are words I never want to hear.
animalcontrol
02-03-2009, 11:57
What happens when a 'gram weenie' get this idea and starts 'skimping' on different clothing sizes
eewww...that edible thong just aint right on a man!
MacEntyre
02-03-2009, 20:40
Eastern Active Technologies
Processing Error
Sorry. Due to unusually heavy server activity we are temporarily unable to process your order.
Options. You can either:
* Save your order form and try again later;
* Print your order form, tape it the back of a mental patient and hope that he/she wanders near our offices; or
* Go away angry and frustrated.
[ Close Window ]
Rushthezeppelin
02-03-2009, 22:20
* Print your order form, tape it the back of a mental patient and hope that he/she wanders near our offices; or
LMAO:laugh:
...Seriously though I can't believe that is real ><
Notice the date in this 'newsbites' heading: (emphasis added)
Eastern Active Technologies (EAT) comes online! Today, April 1 2003, EAT Rolled out its full service website and online ordering system.
:laugh:
Chuck
slowhike
02-06-2009, 20:41
Dutch, your edible gear would have been a hit w/ the ponies at Mt Rogers for sure:eek::laugh:
This is an appropriate thread for today.
plowhorse
04-01-2009, 14:36
This is an appropriate thread for today.
I agree, i haven't stopped laughing since I started reading this:lol:
p.s. fishinfin where did you get that avatar, my kids think I look like that when in the hammock
p.s. fishinfin where did you get that avatar, my kids think I look like that when in the hammock
http://ak.buy.com/db_assets/large_images/958/203432958.jpg
BTW, did you notice the name on the book? Famous Hammocks.
plowhorse
04-01-2009, 15:01
http://ak.buy.com/db_assets/large_images/958/203432958.jpg
BTW, did you notice the name on the book? Famous Hammocks.
I have never noticed that. It makes it even funnier.
Cannibal
04-01-2009, 15:04
Is that a Georgia O'Keeffe inspired poster? Or am I more 'off' today than normal?:lol:
Is that a Georgia O'Keeffe inspired poster? Or am I more 'off' today than normal?:lol:
My, aren't we the artist-ocrat today?!:lol: Who'duthunkit, Cannibal knows his artists!
Cannibal
04-01-2009, 15:12
Hey, I'm an edumacted fella.
it's funny how immature all of us as men are. it's one of the few things my wife is actually right about. we may grow older and a little wiser but we never fully grow up.
Cannibal
04-01-2009, 15:33
we may grow older and a little wiser but we never fully grow up.
From your lips to His/Her ear! :shades:
How'd I miss this post yesterday?! You guys keep writing stuff like this and I'll end up getting kicked out of the library for laughing too loudly!
Wow I forgot about this thread.
Floridahanger
04-01-2013, 15:55
Dutch is an amazing feller. His edible unmentionables notwithstanding...
Floridahanger
04-01-2013, 16:07
Edible velcro is just fruit rollup that you have to peel apart and lick every time. Not too bad if the powdered gravy don't stick to it.
A lick and stick underquilt will also be great so I don't have to keep adjusting that thing. I will use it on my next hike :D