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Type: Posts; User: Hangandy

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  1. Replies
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    The baby seal tears are extracted by Homeroom...

    The baby seal tears are extracted by Homeroom Vicki using a highly effective technique. She simply shows them pictures of Dutch after a long hike, and then tells them they'll never be as fit as him....
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    He is actually using some of our highly advanced...

    He is actually using some of our highly advanced Canadian technology, a real cutting edge tool we refer to as the BTR-KNF. This tool has multiple functions including the ability to remove paint, open...
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    I thought your birthday wasn't for two more weeks.

    I thought your birthday wasn't for two more weeks.
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    Actually he has always had a special deal for...

    Actually he has always had a special deal for Canadians only. Buy the first one for twice the regular price and the second one is half price. Cause he likes us more.
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    Tra la la! The Canadians are here to save the...

    Tra la la!

    The Canadians are here to save the day.

    Now that the caribou antler fuzz harvest is winding down you will have, no doubt, noticed that the Canadian dollar is starting to climb....
  6. Thread: Dutch hooks

    by Hangandy
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    Brilliant!

    Brilliant!
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    Hmm. How about for those annoying Ontario city...

    Hmm.

    How about for those annoying Ontario city dwellers who think they're so much better than the rest of us Canadians,

    Loathsome Torontonians!

    Actually most Torontonians like the idea of...
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    Hmm, how about Canadian Metric? As big as two...

    Hmm, how about Canadian Metric? As big as two Pilsners (beer in stubby bottles), 1/8th of an igloo block, or exactly one half toque (winter cap).
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    In case you have a hard time finding it, you'll...

    In case you have a hard time finding it, you'll smell bbq hamburgers when you're close, and I've attached a picture of the front.

    123401

    :lol:
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    Having made a DIY and then after buying a couple...

    Having made a DIY and then after buying a couple Dutchmades with the same materials, the only reason to DIY is so you can tell people you made it yourself. Of course this makes as much sense as going...
  11. Thread: hey dutch

    by Hangandy
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    542

    Not anymore. Sadly the cargo ship carrying the...

    Not anymore. Sadly the cargo ship carrying the red Zingit crashed at sea with the ship carrying the blue Zing-it. Nobody drowned thank heavens, but all the sailors were marooned.
  12. I love AHE. I have one of their awesome 3/4 UQs....

    I love AHE. I have one of their awesome 3/4 UQs. Knowing that your great offering aside from bling, Dutch, is now your amazing selection of hammocks, might we ever see a Dutch option of an insulated...
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    Well the reason we don't sell American Slices is...

    Well the reason we don't sell American Slices is because cannibalism was outlawed back in the 70s as part of our civil rights movement. But to hear you're harvesting bacon from Canadians (pics or it...
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    I don't want to confuse things, but I much prefer...

    I don't want to confuse things, but I much prefer Fleaz. For basically the same weight you have a quick tie-off cleat. And you can add some shock cord or Theraband (see Fun With Fleaz ...
  15. Thread: Dutch Halfwit

    by Hangandy
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    998

    I agree with Khnum. It really is a matter of...

    I agree with Khnum.

    It really is a matter of preference though. The halfwit is a great hammock for bug season especially when weight is your main focus. For me, I like the versatility of no net in...
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    What Was Your Best 2015 Dutch Purchase?

    Merry Christmas (Happy Boxing Day) and Happy New Year all.

    So among all the bling you purchased this year, what would you say was your favorite?

    I'll start by saying I love my Fleaz!

    Your...
  17. Brilliant! I can just hear Madonna singing, ...

    Brilliant!

    I can just hear Madonna singing,

    "Like a sturgeon, hey/
    Hooked for the very first time/
    Like a stu-u-u-ur-geon..."

    Is it just me, or has Madonna aged a lot less gracefully than...
  18. How about this?...

    How about this?
    -------------------------------------

    Surgeon General's Warning: The Items found on this page have been found to be highly addictive in nature and are not recommended for use by...
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    Velstretch Uses?

    Just checking out Dutch's new offerings and I noticed Velstretch. Very intriguing. What are some applications for this stuff. How have others used it so far? Before us Canadians buy it all up I want...
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    Same to you Tom! And Merry Christmas to you...

    Same to you Tom! And Merry Christmas to you amazing neighbors in the sunny southern climes of the good ol' USA. Peace, all!
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    121455Brilliant Tom. As a Canadian the...

    121455Brilliant Tom.

    As a Canadian the hardest 4 years of my life were grade 2. Oh yeah pictures prove it. Shug got cut off in the shot, but there's the North half of the picture.
  22. Replies
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    All true, but let me explain. As Canadians we...

    All true, but let me explain. As Canadians we actually spend one extra year in High School (Grade 13) http://https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontario_Academic_Credit and as such are just a little bit...
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    1,489

    With 50 you get egg rolls. And anyone who...

    With 50 you get egg rolls. And anyone who purchases 100 will get a signed photograph of Shug and Hangandy in avocado green tuxedoes at the last celebration of the Statute of Westminster in Ottawa...
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    In case anyone is interested some alternative...

    In case anyone is interested some alternative Dutch bling.120764
  25. It's an option for Canadians from a particular...

    It's an option for Canadians from a particular province which I won't mention. Because some from that region have a hard time telling their head from their bottom. Don't be surprised if there aren't...
  26. I just can't get over how brilliant the name...

    I just can't get over how brilliant the name Spiders is. It is used with webbing, follows the insect theme. Great business and marketing sense Dutch. I mean I'm no rocket surgeon (I actually did an...
  27. Oh oh. I don't have much money, but my Spidey...

    Oh oh. I don't have much money, but my Spidey cents is jingling.
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    Us Canadians are stepping up to stem the...

    Us Canadians are stepping up to stem the devastating spread of Dutchaholism. Our approach is both simple and effective. We simply buy up all of Dutch's stock with our low Canadian dollar. Some call...
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    Even if the net is a bit short, I just let a...

    Even if the net is a bit short, I just let a little of the hammock poke through. The way the bungie end openings work I have no problems. Works for bug nets too.
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    Actually since he's got Dutch elm disease they're...

    Actually since he's got Dutch elm disease they're gonna put him in the hospital on a strict diet of pizza and pancakes. Not that that cures Dutch elm disease. It's just really contagious and that's...
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    I have to say things are looking pretty bleak....

    I have to say things are looking pretty bleak. The doctor said he'll probably be dead in ......... 2 weeks. ��
  32. 30 pound Pee Bags? What are those pop rocks made...

    30 pound Pee Bags? What are those pop rocks made of?
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    Actually I have no idea if Dutch is selling...

    Actually I have no idea if Dutch is selling trees. But if anyone could do it and get it shipped lightning fast, it's Dutch.
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    Very kind, Dash. In fact, so kind I'm prepared to...

    Very kind, Dash. In fact, so kind I'm prepared to let you in on a real estate venture that could make you very wealthy. Yes, Northern Saskatchewan is just opening up some prime resource sections. And...
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    Buy 2

    I think I'll buy 2 and set them up 17.3 feet apart in the living room.

    Any ideas for how I could "decorate" them?
  36. Thread: Dutch's elves

    by Hangandy
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    But when I do need to weewee I like to use Dutch...

    But when I do need to weewee I like to use Dutch pee bags.
  37. Thread: Dutch's elves

    by Hangandy
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    Oui Oui! Of course we tend to only attract ladies...

    Oui Oui! Of course we tend to only attract ladies who wear knee high seal skin boots and who smell heavily of elderberry and moose hair. Sigh, they're beautiful AND pleasantly scented :boggle:.
  38. Thread: Dutch's elves

    by Hangandy
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    666

    Weird, but the ladies love us. Cause we smell...

    Weird, but the ladies love us. Cause we smell like maple syrup and donuts. And when we break into our outrageous French accent they melt like cheese curds in gravy.
  39. Thread: Dutch's elves

    by Hangandy
    Replies
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    666

    Mwahahaha! Prepare to be annexed and assimilated...

    Mwahahaha! Prepare to be annexed and assimilated by your formerly easy going and amicable neighbor to the North! Dutch will probably try to brush this off as a supply issue, but I'm here to tell you...
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    I've had baited breath ever since I started...

    I've had baited breath ever since I started sucking on the worms I brought for my ice fishing. Yet another reason to hate Canadians.
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    Don't mention it. I just take satisfaction...

    Don't mention it. I just take satisfaction knowing I've saved another fellow human from being brutally mauled by a Northern Ontario Green-Fluted Land Narwhal. To this day I can't walk by a fish and...
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    Just make sure you don't get one in yellow. If...

    Just make sure you don't get one in yellow. If you ever end up in Northern Canada it's extremely dangerous bringing any yellow gear. That's because the Yeti can smell the color yellow from miles...
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    I'm waiting to be a tester for Hammock Flyz. You...

    I'm waiting to be a tester for Hammock Flyz. You know, just like Tarp Flyz but a little bigger. Okay, I'm sure there's a good reason Dutch doesn't make them, but if he ever does, I'm your guinea pig!...
  44. Thread: Dutch=Awesome

    by Hangandy
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    Dutch already knew you would be adding an item...

    Dutch already knew you would be adding an item before you did. He's that smart.
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    Or Squidz Octwopus Or Share-Zs

    Or Squidz
    Octwopus
    Or Share-Zs
  46. Gotta hand it to you, Dutch. These are thumbthing...

    Gotta hand it to you, Dutch. These are thumbthing special. Can't wait to get my mitts on a pair of these. I may need to rain in some of my spending, cause all my funds are drying up. But they'll be...
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    Yeah. But we also gave you Justin Bieber. For...

    Yeah. But we also gave you Justin Bieber. For which we will always be sorry. Thanks for finding the humor.
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    In all my hammocking purchases I've only found...

    In all my hammocking purchases I've only found one other guy who comes close to Dutch in providing excellence in service. He's a guy from Pennsylvania named Thom Ressler. In case you ever get tired...
  49. Hmm, I could see a Dutch offering where a...

    Hmm,

    I could see a Dutch offering where a person could order a Dutch Hammock with a full package of top parts to a summer net, a Fall sock (half sock half net) and a winter sock. A Full Dutch Deal.
  50. Titanium Toggles and blue Zing-it. Oh yeah and a...

    Titanium Toggles and blue Zing-it. Oh yeah and a shower head that I think should work with my sawyer water bottles.

    Oh yeah, and I purchased 99 of each...
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