Long time reader, first time fabric buyer (at least that was my intent)
So I strolled into JoAnn's fabric store in search for some nylon to make my first hammock. Since I've voraciously scoured this forum for all the good DIY info, I felt that I was more than educated enough to drop some fabric terms to get what I needed.However, I quickly found out I was way in over my head and severly outgunned as soon as I opened my mouth.
I asked what I thought to be a pretty inoccuous question, "Do you all have any 1.7 or 1.9 oz nylon?" and was rewarded with a glazed look from a very young employee and a slight chuckle from an older damsel. Her reply was somewhat curt and she appeared to be offended by my question, "1.7 or 1.9, huh? :chuckle: What are you trying to make?"
Once I said I was making a hammock, it was on like Donkey Kong! They kept telling me that I needed duck cloth or some other canvas material and told me that nylon would never hold. I explained that this was intended to be a lightweight hammock for backpacking and synthetics are preferable over cotton. Nope, nope, nope...they wouldn't hear of it.
Once I realized that this was going nowhere and not wanting to singe the ear hairs off this lady with some well practiced vulgarity,I politely asked how to tell the weight of the nylon they had in the store...they had no clue! They fumbled with the bolts of fabric, reading codes and whatnot (I was doing the same, but have not been taught the translation of fabric Sanskrit) and I was no nearer my goal than had I gone to the field next to my house and conversed with the cows.
So here's my question. As a guy that feels like last year's Easter egg in tall weeds when entering a fabric store, what's the one sentance I can say to get me outta there with enough quality fabric to make a double layer hammock? I'm not at all above going Rain Man on this and just repeating said phrase over and over until someone brings me the goods, but I've got to be sure that what I'm asking for is going work.
Can someone help a brother out?