Shug's always saying that he's a solo hiker at heart and I'm right there with him, or at least I was. I've always loved the solitude and empowerment of taking on the mountain or great traverses on my own two legs, with only my own experience and knowledge to guide me. Well, recently I decided to take a three day hike in the Tanzawa mountian range in central Japan. Everything went fine for the first two days. Beautiful views and steep climb after steep climb. On the morning of the third day, I was disappointed when clouds obscurred my view of the majestic Mt. Fuji. See, Mt. Tanzawa is reported to have the best view of Fuji in all of Japan. So rather than continue on the route I had intended, I took an escape route of shorter length so I could get out earlier and get home to my wife. Hiking from peak to peak on steep ridges, I hit a wall.
Not a mental wall, a rock wall, 40 feet high. It was very craggly and would be great for a beginners climbing course, but with no ropes, person to belay me, or cell phone coverage, I was stuck. Looking down both sides of the ridge, the valley floor was hidden by thick clouds, but I knew that it had to be hundreds of feet down. I could turn around, but there was no way I'd make it out by nightfall and I had to be at work the next morning.
I have always been afraid of heights. The Navy has helped with this a lot, but not to this extent. The fear of falling and rolling off the ridge down the mountain consumed me. I stood for at least 10 minutes shaking, literally, pondering the risk. I made a sincere prayer I tightened my pack straps and started up the cliff. I had been using an Osprey Atmos 65, which I love, but it's not meant for climbing. A few feet up it began to shift far left and right on my back as I lift one extremity at a time to the rough holds. Climbing very slowly and taking a few breaks when I could get my feet under me, I made it to the top. I instantly fell to my knees. My arms and legs were aching, but heart was screaming.
The shakes and jitters took several minutes to diminish enough for me to realize what I had just done. I conquered my fears. I took a risk with faith and prevailed. I could have turned around, but I think I needed to prove to myself that I could do it. That's what it's all about I think. That event has literally changed my life. Not outwardly, but inside. It changed the way I see myself in the mirror. I'm 23 years old and until then had never felt the fear of death and when the opportunity arose, I took it and now I feel more alive than ever.
Looking back, I was stupid for climbing that wall. I have too much to live for to risk my life. I will definately research the terrain better and take a friend with me when I'm unsure of the trail conditions. I will also not be changing plans anymore. I had already planned my route, but changed it on a whim. As HE commands, I must be thankful for all things and it's the experience that I'm thankful for, plus the wisdom to not do dumb crap like that.
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Originally Posted by Shug
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