I just received my long awaited overstuffed 4 season phoenix. I apologize for the following...
A cardboard box. Seemingly generic to the untrained eye, but behold the hint of discarded 900 fill down tucked so neatly in the seams of the cardboard box.
A sense of excitement overwhelms me as I walk back to my house. Reading the "Do Not Use Sharp Objects" sticker pressed on the box induces all kinds of worry.
"Did they mishandle my package?!", "I just know someone shoved their boxcutter inside my precious package."
Panic ensues and I can't open the box fast enough, with enough caution mind you. The caution it so surely deserves.
My fingers fail me. Panic turns to frustration. Frustration to imagination. Imagination of how splendid a work of art it could be. Splendor I know it will be. It has to be. Hammockforums members wouldn't fail me.
Those hangers are so logical and frank. Their input couldn't leave me to purchase a product that is less than perfect. The odds are most definitely in their favor.
The box lying on the counter. Laughing at me. Taunting me.
I turn on "tryhard mode" and the box succumbs to my grip, much like a Capri Sun would. Squeezing every sucrose filled drop out of it. Surfer Cooler. The straw is decorative. A man cuts the corner with his trusty blade. Down the hatch.
The box is open.
Ahh, the familiar woodland camo I've grown fond of from my Army days. Woodland camo means reliability. Woodland camo means it will perform when it absolutely has to.
I hold in in my hand like a precious Fabrege egg. I utter to myself, "It's so small and light. I can't believe it's not butter."
I unsheathe the underquilt from its confinement in an Arthur/Excalibur fashion. Behold the weapon that is so powerful it gives the cold itself, the chills.
I press it to my face as if it were my newborn child. The shock cord and "S" biners are icing on the cake. I had wondered how I was going to suspend this piece of handmade craftsmanship from my hammock.
My wondering had been in vain. The master had already equipped the UQ with all the means necessary. Almost like a message, correction, a demand, "Get out there and use it!!!".
Use it I will, Stormcrow. Use it I will.
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