After looking at the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I came up with a twelve step program for hammock hangers. The main difference from the AA 12 steps is that hammock campers really enjoy their addiction. If you have any suggestions on how to improve these 12 steps, let me know:
1. We admit we are powerless over our desire to hang in trees.
2. We believe there is a Power greater than ourselves that could help us design the perfect hammock setup and camping gear.
3. We have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Hammock Forums members as we understand them.
4. We will make a searching and fearless inventory of our camping kit, searching for ways to shave grams and eliminate knots.
5. We admit to Hammock Forums, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact weight of all our equipment.
6. We are entirely ready to have Hammock Forums remove all defects from our gear.
7. We humbly ask Hammock Forums to remove all knots and unnecessarily heavy items from our hammock and camping gear.
8. We will make a list of all persons whose posts we have not read, and vendors whose gear we have not purchased, and are willing to make amends to them all.
9. We will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause us to go blind, or become bankrupt and homeless.
10. We will continue to take inventory of gear and when we are wrong, promptly purchase or make new gear.
11. Seek through reading Hammock Forums posts, watching YouTube videos, and attending group hangs to improve our conscious contact with Hammock Forums members as we understand them, praying only for knowledge of their gear and the power to borrow their ideas.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we carry this message to hammock campers, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.