Tofino is not too crazy. I mean it's popular but you can still get away from the crowds by walking a little further or driving off the road a bit.
The locals are a bit protective about some of the hidden secret places but you can find them by pushing out just a little further than most people will go.
Bamberton is nice. We go there when we make a quick one nighter but it lacks the WOW factor that Tofino and Strathcona pack.
If you go, you will never forget Long Beach, in the Pacific Rim National Park just south of Tofino, and you will always want to go back.
I first went there as a child camping with my parents in 1972, and I have been back every chance since.
Some of the locals say they know it's summer when I show up.
For surfing, your wife may enjoy Surf Sisters. It's a surf shop run by ladies, for ladies, and the odd secure man. It's my wife's surf shop of choice. And I'm comfortable in pink.
You can get a good moose or elk burger at the place beside the mexican food truck as well. Just to mix things up a bit.