When it comes to making your load lighter you eventually get to a point where you are trading safety for less weight. Everyone pushes the limit to see how light they can make their load—lightweight, ultra-light, super ultra-light—but where are the pioneers for safety? Who pushes past safe, and into ultra-safe, or even super ultra-safe… this guy!!!

Because trees need safety too:



How about these 4 inch Kinedyne straps rated at 5,400 lbs as tree huggers? I know, 5,400 lbs doesn't sound Super Ultra-Safe, but at just over 22 feet long they can be doubled over and larksheaded around the tree for a combined 10,800 lbs! Guaranteed to protect both the tree and you from damage. A little bit heavier than the standard 1” tree hugger, but can you put a weight price on peace of mind?


Now that's a toggle:



For a toggle I prefer the Miken NRG pro series softball bat for 2 compelling reasons: first, saying "Miken NRG pro series" makes me feel all high-speed and hardcore. Secondly, it's easy to steal out of my dad's garage. It’s also a great duel use item—perfect for impromptu ball games at camp, and can also be used to “persuade” noisy camp neighbors to put the boom-box away for the night. If, however, the softball bats seem like too much of a weight penalty, you can always just grab a couple smallish sized trail-trunks and use those instead. Throw your 2 ¾” diameter amsteel whoopies over your 4" Kinedyne tree huggers (remember: on the knot, not the toggle), and you can sleep with absolute peace of mind in your octuple-layer hammock.


Rock it Super Ultra-Safe:



Grab a military 3 piece modular sleeping bag, a couple of PLUQ’s, and a canvas tarp, and you can easily pack your Super Ultra-Safe sleep/shelter system in this U.S. Army rucksack with just enough room left over to include either The Oxford English Dictionary or The Complete Works of William Shakespeare for some light reading while nestling into your Super Ultra-Safe hammock setup. Strap an assault pack with food, clothing and other necessities to your chest, and you're ready to hit the trail!

Total cost in weight: 117 lbs, 9.22 oz...

Bombproof safety and peace of mind… priceless.

Have fun out there and be safe--Super Ultra-Safe!

...Timabababaluka...