The untold joys of hammocking

**Danberb** · 09-12-2017, 15:54

I'm new to this forum and very new to hanging. I purchased a super cheep gathered end hammock from a local hardware store to see what all the fuss is about. I set it up in my back yard when I got home and prepared for the most comfortable sleep of my life. The forecast was clear, the weather was beautiful not too hot not too cold just perfect. What could go wrong?

I learned several things that night. The first of which is that bug nets are important, coming from a background of tent camping my whole life this should not have been that big of a revelation, but I was caught up in the moment and overlooked that small detail. I spent the night with all kinds of new and exciting bed mates.
The second thing I learned\experienced was CBS, it was only supposed to get down to 53 that night so I thought my 40 degree sleeping bag should be fine. What I discovered is that 53 degrees is a lot like purgatory, not cold enough to kill you, and end your suffering, but not warm enough to let you sleep for more then 5 minutes at a time.
The last thing I learned was during one of those blissful 5 minutes of sleep. I'm sure you've read about people who gain extraordinary powers under stressful conditions, like a mother who is able to lift a car off a trapped child. Well I turns out that I can levitate myself. I had just rearranged myself into something akin to the fetal position and finally nodded off when something bumped into my underside and then proceeded to investigate what was inside of my thin nylon cocoon. I got my head out of my sleeping bag just in time to catch a glimpse of a rather friendly looking raccoon attempting to climb in and snuggle with me. None of this lasted very long because I don't think the raccoon expected to witness my new powers. I was suddenly hovering 6 inches off my hammock and the raccoon was nothing but a faintly smoldering trail through my backyard and into the treeline, leaving nothing behind but a slight odor of burnt fur and a mild heart attack.

**dkurfiss** · 09-12-2017, 16:08

LOL! Nice. Welcome to the world of hammocks

**Fishbite** · 09-12-2017, 18:03

That is a great story! It seems you learn by doing, which is one way to learn and usually exciting. You will have to deal with jealousy when you hammock and the raccoon was either jealous or could you have brought a couple Snickers bars with you? Just so you know, if you feed the wildlife, they will not go away! But do not believe me, go ahead and make deals with the wildlife and see what happens.

**Chesapeake** · 09-12-2017, 19:14

Maybe it was the same raccoon that tried to eat my face last fall ? Did it have razor sharp, needle like teeth, red eyes and appear to be created by Satan himself ? If so than I'd def use a net from now on, because it must have got the taste of human blood at some point and is now searching far and wide to satisfy its insatiable never ending hunger for hammockers flesh. OR it could be a regular ole cute and cuddly coon lol. Sleep tight.

**Phantom Grappler** · 09-12-2017, 19:27

Great post--the dreaded CBS (Cold Butt Syndrome) has gotten me a time or two
Then I went on to get CRP (Calf Ridge Pressure) ha, brings back memories...
Welcome to the madness

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**hutzelbein** · 09-13-2017, 04:15

Great first post! Welcome to the forums - I'm looking forward to your next story

**One-Sky** · 09-13-2017, 10:11

I have a visual of you and the raccoon . . . thank you for the laugh, LOL!!! Welcome to the forum!

**heyduff** · 09-13-2017, 11:10

Originally Posted by Danberb

...cheep gathered end hammock...What could go wrong?

Haha! Not laughing at you, laughing WITH you. I started the same way, more or less, and have run into the same 'issues', more or less...my 'bump in the night' was a possum. Welcome to the hang!

**NarlocB** · 09-13-2017, 14:58

LOL. Probably best way to join the forums!! Racoons are the most curious creatures.....just be glad it wasn't a skunk.......my dog has killed 4 of them in a the past few years.....that is the only thing i fear anymore.

**Danberb** · 09-14-2017, 10:56

Your comments have cracked me up. I have spent nearly every night since that first night in my hammock learning something new every night. I've added a second cheap hammock to form a poor mans double layer so I could slide a foam mat in between. I found that a tarp was necessary even on clear nights just to keep the dew off, and I've treated both hammocks with Permethrin which took care of most of my bug issue.
I've had some new adventures with wildlife but none quite as up close and personal to that first night.