Forget about all the wieght issues, all of the personal preferences, all of the gear roching and fanboy pimping, and all of the peer pressure to perform in a certain manner.
One of the most famous backpackers of all time was a lady called Grandma Gatewood. She through hiked the Appalacian trail---twice---after she truned 60, carried everything in a tote sack, wore tennis shoes, and used a shower curtain for shelter.
Its not about the gear, and the gear is not really the secret.
Your goal, as I understand it, is to be able to spend the night in the woods and not in developed campsites.
For a beginner, it should be no more complicated than that. KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid
My advice:
Set a first time achievable goal: One night in the woods.
So here's the minimum of what you need to spend a night in the woods:
Food.
Water.
Shelter.
A flashlight.
And something to carry that in.
For food (assuming you will be heading out on a Saturday morning), you will need one lunch, one supper, and one breakfast. To keep things simple (this is your first time out), pick stuff that doesn't need to be cooked: sandwiches, pop tarts, commercially made lunch packs, etc.
For water, it is advised that one consume one gallon of water per day in the hot summer months. You can take care of part of that by drinking a quart or so before leaving the house and another quart before hitting the trail, which leaves you carrying about a half gallon on the trail. We're going to assume that, because this is your first time, you're not going to have any filtration equipment.
For shelter, if you're on this forum, and you're already doing car camping, we're going to assume you alreay have a hammock and tarp. That's all you need for shelter, unless its going to be below 65* overnight. if so, you need an underquilt or pad.
Get all of that stuff together and take a look at home much space it takes up, then go buy a backpack that will hold it.
Now, pick a safe spot to camp in. You're not going to climb Mt Washington your first time out. Most of the National Forests allow camping almost anywhere (check the rules), you can likley go to one of the car camping spots you're used to and find a trail leading out of it. Just go a couple hundred yards and pitch your camp. Eat your lunch, read a book, eat your supper, read some more, go to sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, walk back to the car.
That's it. You're done. You've backpack camped.
Then, evaluate your experience. Think about what you needed and did not have. Think about what you would have liked to have had but didn't need. Then, start your research on trail foods, equipment, etc.
Forget about all of the Ultra Light advice you've gotten or are going to get, that all comes later. The important thing is to get into the woods. You will make mistakes. You will learn from them. But above all, get out into the woods---even if its only fifty yards from the car. Get afr enough away from the car and the campsite so you can't see it and its inconvenient to get stuff, but close enough that you can get back to it if the need really arises.
After you've achieved your first achievable goal, set one a bit higher than that. Get together with other folks who are backpacking and join thier trips. Keep in mind that this will be a continuing, life long experience.
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