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  1. #11
    Senior Member hk2001's Avatar
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    My 7 year old's entry:
    When she was 2, she woke up in the middle of the night and hobbled into our bedroom.. Stuffed bear and security blanket in tow. She gently shook my wife awake. My wife sat up and in her little sing-song comforting voice started asking "oh honey , what's wrong?" which FINALLY woke me up.

    So we're sitting there in bed, my kid has yet to say ANYTHING.. And she looks us both in the face, and in her tired little sleepy voice asked: "How do ducks fly?"

    My wife and I struggle for 5 minutes to dumb down the mechanics of aviation enough for a 2 year old to understand, and at the end of our (very lame) explination our daugther cracks this giant smile and says

    "No sillys, they just wing it! "

    She jumps off the bed and runs to her room.. Giggling her little butt off the entire way. Bear and blanket bouncing behind her.

    My wife and I sat in bed for the next hour hysterically laughing.. Ava (our daugther) told her first joke, and made us feel like absolute idiots for the first time all at once..

    100% true story

  2. #12
    Senior Member inspectorguy's Avatar
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    Dec 2010
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    A frog named Kermit Jagger goes to a bank to get a loan. He talks to a teller named Patty Mack. Patty asks the frog what he has for collateral. The frog pulls out a small figurine, but Patty says, "I'm sorry, that's just a cheap knick knack." The bank manager had been walking by at the time and overheard the conversation. Looking over, he said, "This figurine is three hundred years old -- it's priceless. That's no knick knack, Patty Mack, give that frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

  3. #13
    Senior Member BackpackerGuy's Avatar
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    Nov 2013
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    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

    He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

    The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911.

    He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

    There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.

    Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
    I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, make sure I stay here.


    When I see lovers' names carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute. I think it's strange how so many people take knives on a date.



    Formerly known as 'Brad49426'.

  4. #14
    Nighthauk's Avatar
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    Just putting it out there. Folks in the spirits of the holidays please make sure they are clean and appropriate and do keep them coming.
    Husband, Father, and Friend.
    Scout Master and Cub Master for Troop/Pack 705 of
    Chesterfield


  5. #15
    Senior Member raiffnuke's Avatar
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    Yes, please keep all jokes (and other postings) in keeping with the Family Friendly atmosphere that we know and love here on HF.

  6. #16
    Senior Member hk2001's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nighthauk View Post
    Just putting it out there. Folks in the spirits of the holidays please make sure they are clean and appropriate and do keep them coming.
    Quote Originally Posted by raiffnuke View Post
    Yes, please keep all jokes (and other postings) in keeping with the Family Friendly atmosphere that we know and love here on HF.


    Add punchlines!!

  7. #17
    Nighthauk's Avatar
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    Or ELSE!!!
    Husband, Father, and Friend.
    Scout Master and Cub Master for Troop/Pack 705 of
    Chesterfield


  8. #18
    Senior Member Fish<><'s Avatar
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    Aug 2011
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    If I have any say in the voting process, hk2001 would get mine. That was the funniest joke I read in a long time.
    "We do not go to the green woods and crystal waters to rough it, we go to smooth it."- G. W. Sears

    My forum name is Fish<><; I'm in the navy; and I hate sleeping on the ground. If I didn't need ground to walk on or measure resistance to, I think I could happily give it up.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Alamosa's Avatar
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    A hanger is super excited because he just received his 20* UQ and TQ from ____. As the weather predictions are for the low 20s, he heads out to the back yard to test out his new equipment. Around midnight, the temp drops dramatically lower and he decides discretion is the better part of valor and heads in.

    As he snuggles up to his wife he whispers, "it is freezing out there." She replies, "I know and my idiot husband is sleeping out there in his hammock."

    And that's when the fight started.
    We must, indeed, all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. - Ben Franklin
    (known as a win-win on this forum)

  10. #20
    Senior Member Dos's Avatar
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    While Alexander Graham Bell was inventing the telephone,
    he missed 3 calls from Chuck Norris.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    AT '12. AT '14. FT '15. CA '15.

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