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  1. #1
    Senior Member avalonmorn's Avatar
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    How hard can using a hammock be?

    Hey, I'm a newbie, moving from tents to hammocks. Got the info on this forum from Jeff, Sgt. Rock, and other websites. Decided to jump in with both feet, literally. I've been lurking and reading a bit for a week til I knew everything about hammock hanging....
    I have an old military hanging hammock tent that I decided to "practice" with. Unrolled it, and it didn't look like everyone's pics on HH, WB, or DIY! Oh well, no problem, as I'm quite an intelligent woman. It had many parachute strings on each end centered in a silver ring, a pop up net, with the top in nylon. Read the size, only 20 inches wide, I turned around, looked at my backside, and thought if it's good enough for our troops, it's good enough for me. I live in an extremely small town, so I bought clothesline rope from the Dollar General, and some big fat nylon looking rope from our lumberyard. Got home. No 2 trees, got my kitchen ladder and rigged up my ridgeline from my one tree in the front yard to the Christmas light nails on my roof. Next, after quite an effort, managed to hang said hammock from tree to porch pole. Gently hopped in, and turned upside down, as the end straps had to be adjusted just right I found out later. Redid all, second attempt, cord came untied, as I am no Girlscout, and skipped the part where all of ya'll showed your knot-tying expertise , cause, how hard can it be to tie 2 things together?
    3rd attempt, with now the whole neighborhood watching, went ok, til my dog jumped in with Momma, and something sailed by my ear 90 miles an hour, and again, I was flat on my back. I'll find the Christmas light nails with my lawnmower, no worries.
    I am not giving up, cause, how hard can it be to hang a hammock?
    Now if ya'll will excuse me, have to go to the newspaper office before the noon deadline on our weekly paper, and place my ad.

    Wanted estimate: replacing several shingles, soffett, and porch pole repair on Pine Circle, house with hammock laying on the porch.

    Gotta go.... need family size bottle of Advil from Dollar General.

  2. #2
    Senior Member oldsoldier's Avatar
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    LOL!!! Ok, first, the net style hammock you are using isnt the most stable design!! Second, well, you found out about the anchor points...they need to be capable of supporting you. Ditto with knots. But, you got gumption...as long as you didnt break anything, keep giving it a try!

    One recommendation-find a private place, with trees, lest your neighbor slap an unfavorable nickname on you

  3. #3
    Senior Member Cannibal's Avatar
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    Sounds like your sense of humor is still intact. Good for you.

    Welcome to being a hanger. There is in unofficial rule that you can't have your 'hanger' patch without landing on you butt at least once. I can't believe you were brave enough to hang from a porch pole and a nail; thought I was crazy.

    Get yourself a couple of piece of lumber and lash them together to form an inverted "V". Use that for the second tree, just make sure you stake the heck out of it to keep it from folding in on you.

    Glad it's something that Advil can fix.
    Trust nobody!

  4. #4
    Senior Member animalcontrol's Avatar
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    congrats and welcome
    your off to a 'smashing' start!
    maybe you can cement your status as the town's "Crazy Hammock Lady"!!?
    "Every day is a new day to a better future"
    "Of all the things that matter, that really and truly matter, working more efficiently and getting more done is not among them." ~ Mike Dooley
    "What if I told you that you couldn't have anymore of anything... No more friends, no more money, no more anything, until you first got happy with what you have?"~ Mike Dooley
    "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." ~ Socrates

  5. #5
    Senior Member avalonmorn's Avatar
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    new title

    Quote Originally Posted by animalcontrol View Post
    congrats and welcome
    your off to a 'smashing' start!
    maybe you can cement your status as the town's "Crazy Hammock Lady"!!?
    Animal Control, I'll take that "Crazy Hammock Lady" title and try to do it justice. I like your name too...lol

    Thanks to all who wrote!

  6. #6
    Peter_pan's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum... Sounds like you are ready to graduate from the school of hard knocks....For your next class, please read the archives... and put a matress under your desk... er hammock...

    Pan
    Ounces to Grams.

    www.jacksrbetter.com ... Largest supplier of camping quilts and under quilts...Home of the Original Nest Under Quilt, and Bear Mountain Bridge Hammock. 800 595 0413

  7. #7
    New Member
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    Too funny. I feel your pain. A few years ago, I wanted to try out a hammock I hadn't hung in years. The first attempt was a disaster- wrong knots and weak rope. I was trying to use what I had laying around the house (bad choice). Not to be discouraged, I soldiered on. Second and following attempts, I put two lounge chair cushions on the ground underneath me to cushion the fall. I thought my mother was going to split a gut laughing.

  8. #8
    MacEntyre's Avatar
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    I have that same hammock... rigged hiking poles as spreader bars, but in the middle of my first night in it, a seam started ripping at the head end. I managed to hold still enough to keep it from coming apart before the sun came up. However, I had no insulation on the bottom, so I was cold even though the temp was in the low 50s. You need to place another ad:

    Wanted - Girl Scout and Seamstress to help me make a backpacking hammock using instructions on HammockForums.net.
    "We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately." - Ben Franklin
    www.MollyMacGear.com

  9. #9
    Senior Member JerryW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by avalonmorn View Post
    I've been lurking and reading a bit for a week til I knew everything about hammock hanging....
    That's a good one!

    If only it were that easy.

    Don't give up! It'll all be worth it in the end. Although, it seems there is never an end to this madness!


    Jerry
    The "Search" function is your friend!

  10. #10
    in it for the naps oldgringo's Avatar
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    Funny stuff!

    You give Okies a good name. Welcome.
    Dave

    http://www.uark.edu/misc/xtimber/rna/pattonsbluff.html

    It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.
    John Steinbeck

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