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  1. #1
    Senior Member turk's Avatar
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    The Commandments of Hammocking

    I was talking to a non-hammocker today (the millionth one it feels like )..
    and I got to thinking about how best to summarize in as few words as possible the things
    newbies will need to be aware of when getting into the hammock scene. I was thinking
    about coming up with something fun, like a set of hammock commandments.
    Anyone want to pitch in and come up with some?
    Has something like this already been done. I searched... but didn't find any. Kind of surprised
    actually. Give me a heads up if so.
    otherwise......
    I'll kick it off with a few of the big easy ones.



    1. Thou shall require Bottom Insulation
    - Hammocks get cold on the bottom in all but the warmest weather.
    Using a pad, pod, or underquilt will keep you warm in diverse weather
    conditions. Each system has its own unique pros and cons and temp ratings.

    2. Thy Hammock shall be protected from the storm
    - You need a tarp to stay dry. Smaller tarps save weight and are good for
    light rain with little wind. Larger tarps are required for wind blown rain and
    to protect underquilts or pods from getting wet. Under and over covers
    provide additional protection and some warmth

    3. Thy Hammock shall not fall to certain doom
    (or something more catchy)
    - You need to think about your suspension system. There are plenty of options.
    Knots, ropes, webbing, rings, buckles and other gadgets to provide you with many
    ways to secure your hammock quickly and safely every time.

    4. Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's hammock
    - With so many different types of hammocks on the market, its hard to
    know what to get. Comfort is very subjective. Your setup is very personal.
    Try many different types if possible before making a purchase. Learn about
    the different makes and models and decide what features you need or want.
    Don't rule out making your own. It can be done easily and with little required skills.



    So... anyone feeling poetic and have something to add or edit to the commandments please do.
    Eventually when complete... we could rate each commandment and put them numerically in order
    of importance and include links on key words in the descriptions for each commandment that will
    take people to the long and popular forum threads that discuss each item in detail.
    Sorry ... just bored, and had an idea.
    Last edited by turk; 08-17-2007 at 17:22.

  2. #2
    Senior Member angrysparrow's Avatar
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    I think that developing either a set of good rules of thumb, or even a primer for new hammockers, is a great idea turk.

    5. Thou shalt not sabotage thine own hammock. Empty your pockets and belt of all sharp objects before entering the hammock.

    6. Thou shalt take advantage of the versatility of hanging options a hammock provides. Don't settle for a plain flat camping spot when more unique opportunites are available. Make the most of your options by hanging across streams, between boulders, by scenic vistas, etc.
    I think that when the lies are all told and forgot the truth will be there yet. It dont move about from place to place and it dont change from time to time. You cant corrupt it any more than you can salt salt. - Cormac McCarthy

  3. #3
    Senior Member FanaticFringer's Avatar
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    I think something like this is a great idea for newbies and some not so newbies.
    If you put yourself in the shoes of a total newbie who has just logged on to this site, I would think that many are somewhat overwhelmed at first as to which direction to go. Thats why I often advise them to check out Just Jeff's hammock camping site first.
    It spells it out so nicely. Would be nice to have something like this on the homepage other than just a glossary or acronyms.
    Last edited by FanaticFringer; 08-17-2007 at 21:11.
    "Every day above ground is a good day"

  4. #4
    Crash's Avatar
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    Coveting

    Quote Originally Posted by turk View Post

    4. Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's hammock
    - With so many different types of hammocks on the market, its hard to
    know what to get. Comfort is very subjective. Your setup is very personal.
    Try many different types if possible before making a purchase. Learn about
    the different makes and models and decide what features you need or want.
    Don't rule out making your own. It can be done easily and with little required skills.
    Coveting is good. It makes you experiment and make improvements to your hammock.
    But watch out for those !@#$%^ tent dwelling land lubbers who covet your hammock! they will steal it or just never get out of it!
    "Courage Grows Strong at a Wound" - Stewart Clan Motto

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Thou wilt realize that hammocks are like tattoos, once you get over the fear and get your first one, immediately you want another on, too, because it is cool in a different way, and then you want a different one than that one, too.

    Also, Hennessy Hammocks are the gateway drug of the hammock culture. They look so easy and come complete. Then, once you have it you start wanting to add to it. Then, well... see above.

    Note: No, I don't have a tattoo, yet. Considering that I now own 3 hammocks, I'm afraid of what I'd do inside of a tattoo parlor.
    Bad spellers of the world Untie!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Cannibal's Avatar
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    Thou shall practice and understand BEFORE going forth to the woods, lest thy spend the first night in a hammock planted firmly upon the ground.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Cannibal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowmoss View Post
    Note: No, I don't have a tattoo, yet. Considering that I now own 3 hammocks, I'm afraid of what I'd do inside of a tattoo parlor.
    Chicken

  8. #8
    Senior Member turk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowmoss View Post
    Hennessy Hammocks are the gateway drug of the hammock culture.

    ... Well said!
    That line is so worthy, I have to use that as a signature

  9. #9
    GrizzlyAdams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by turk View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowmoss View Post
    ... Hennessy Hammocks are the gateway drug of the hammock culture.


    ... Well said!
    That line is so worthy, I have to use that as a signature
    Agreed. Showing my age, but it reminds me of a line from a Cheech and Chong skit that I will borrow and abuse :
    Wow man, I used to be all messed up on Hennessy hammocks. But since I found the Bridge hammock, now I'm all messed up on Bridge hammocks.
    well, maybe you had to be there. In the, ah, properly receptive state of mind.

    Grizz

  10. #10
    New Member
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    Maybe something about "leave no trace" camping, not damaging trees, and in particular, not doing anything to cause any authority figure to disallow hammock use in their park/wilderness/whatever ... someone with more poetic energy can perhaps render something along that line in Commandment form. Me, I'm a pastafarian, we don't go for the stone tablets approach ... <g>

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